Step 1

1. "Know your worth- that you are a valuable person who  deserves to be respected and loved

I asked a group of drug addicts, "Suppose you were the winner of a brand new Porsche in a sweepstake. You drive the Porsche proudly down the street, and you see a parking space right in front of the building you wish to enter. However, when you get closer, you see that it would be a very tight fit, with no more than an inch at either end. What would you do?"

Invariably, the response is, "Look for a larger space."

"But why?" I ask "This space is right in front of the building."

"Yeah," is the response, "but I wouldn't take a chance on scratching the Porsche."

"It seems that you would take great effort to protect the Porsche from damage. Why didn't you try to protect yourself from damage? You knew that those drugs were harmful."

Silence.

"I'll tell you why. You know that the Porsche is valuable and beautiful, so you protect it from damage. But you didn't think of yourself as valuable and beautiful, so you had no resistance against harmful chemicals."

"People with good self-esteem are unlikely to expose themselves to harmful chemicals.

Now let's get down to business. You will say to me: No-one ever respected me, so I have not learned to respect or value myself, so I can't love or even like myself. I have made so many mistakes, I don't know how to get out of this mess, so I might as well just go back to using. There is no way out.

Our response to you is that you can learn to value yourself. Here's how:

  Let us draw a diagram of the "self"-the components that make up your identity.

  Your identity has six basic components:

•   Intellect
•   Social Skills
•   Personality/Character values
•   Spirituality
•   Accomplishments
•   Physical Strengths

Now is the time you get to build your own identity. Download this wheel by clicking here and take a pen and write down a 2 strengths or abilities that you have in each of these categories. For example:

Intellect: 

• Do you read?
•   Do you have common sense?
•   Are you academic?
•   Can you solve problems?
•   Are you funny?
•   Other strengths……?

Social Skills:  Are you a friend?

•   Are you a listener?
•   Are you a communicator?
•   Have you ever helped anyone?
•   Have you ever done a kind deed?
•   Have you ever complemented anyone?
•   Have you ever encouraged someone?
•   Have you ever comforted someone?

Personality/Character Values:  Are you persistent?

•   Do you take a stand for something you believe in?
•   Do you have compassion?
•   Are you a sensitive person?
•   Have you ever acted with kindness?
•   Have you ever told the truth?
•   Can you be honest with others?
•   Are you creative, artistic or musical?
•   Do you have good ideas?
•   Can you forgive someone who has hurt you?

Spirituality:  Do you reflect on the purpose of  life?

•   Do you ever think how you can improve yourself?
•   Have you ever learned from your mistakes?
•   Do you ever think that it is great to be alive?
•   Do you appreciate the parts of your body that function?
•   Do you marvel at the wonders of nature?

Accomplishments:  Have you acquired some knowledge about a particular subject?

•   Have you ever worked?
•   Have you ever worked on yourself?
•   Have you made a contribution to the life of another person?
•   Have you ever made a child smile?

Physical Strengths:  Can you exercise?

•   Can you keep a room/home neat?
•   Can you make a meal?
•   Have you ever helped someone who was in need?

Now that you have begun to build the components of your identity we would like you to keep this SELF ESTEEM WHEEL on your fridge or in your purse or in your wallet and refer to it once a day. If you can, add to it as you become aware of more of your strengths. This WHEEL is a resource for you to start becoming aware that you are a person of value-and that you are entitled to like yourself and to treat yourself with respect.