Loneliness

You just can't find the time to relax. You say that you don't really need to ... that you are full of energy and are a person "on-the-go." You accomplish a lot. You never had the desire to just sit back on the couch and read a book, sit and bask in the sun, listen to your old favorite music without doing anything else or take a walk with a loved one in the park. "That's simply a waste of time," you say to yourself. "I'll have time to relax when I'm dead."

The truth is ... you can't relax. You desperately want to relax. You would love to say, "Stop the world - I want to get off" ... for just one hour. You crave a break from the relentless driven pace you have set for your life ... but you can't. Why not? Because you are too afraid to sit down with yourself for five minutes and get to know yourself, your thoughts, your feelings ... what you really want out of life. What are your strengths and weaknesses ... what you are working on in the area of self improvement. You are afraid to spend time with yourself because you don't like yourself. You don't really believe in yourself and you can't wait to get away from someone you don't like ... yourself. That's why you're always on the go ... and can't relax. If you relaxed you'd have to spend fifteen whole minutes confronting yourself ... and this is not something you want to do.

You are really alone in the world ... because you can't stand to be alone with yourself. Go ahead ... try it. Try sitting in a whirlpool, jacuzzi or take a walk by yourself ... for 15 minutes. I dare you.

You have a less than happy social life ... because unless you like yourself ... you can't like anybody else. You can't really get close to someone because deep down you don't think anyone would really like you. You never quite understood the Biblical saying, "Love your neighbor as yourself". Do you know why? Because you can't love your neighbor and be kind and giving ... if you can't be kind and giving to yourself.

This distorted world view is based on your negative self image. You have convinced yourself that there is nothing worthy and valuable about yourself to love. You feel alone and alienated from yourself. It's like being in personal exile from yourself. It leads to a very painful feeling of alienation and isolation. It seems as your life is a haze ... and you don't really know where you fit in.

You can start to repair this distorted self image by realizing that yes, you are alone ... but that doesn't mean that you have to be lonely. You are alone ... because there is no one else in the world like you. You are special and unique. That's why you are really alone ... no one else has your DNA, your inherited genes, your upbringing, your values, your strengths and your limitations. You are alone because you are unique. Go on ... release yourself from those terrible pains of emotional and existential angst ... have a good cry ...